A Job seeker’s diary.

Bitter and twittered?  Well, I am!  It’s an age thing I’m sure.  Whatever happened to just being grumpy…. I’ve earned the right, I’ve put in the hours, I’ve been around the block a few times, I’ve run out of clichés and I’m being tweeted at.

The thing is…… I need a new job.  Just because someone above me (an idiot with no talent or ability) is saving his own income, I become a victim as the dreaded redundancy notice lands on my desk.  I know I’m good at my job and the loss of this particular loved one sends me plummeting into the world of grief.  Disbelief, anger, self-recrimination, sadness…. And then anger again and/but the determination to sort myself out.  But that’s the problem isn’t it?  Getting stuck.   I’m stuck in the self-recrimination part.  But I know it wasn’t really my fault in the first place.  Someone else lost our biggest customer and caused our down turn.  Someone else pulled the budget on another department and our department lost the game we weren’t aware we were playing. But if I really was that valuable they wouldn’t have let me go……. would they?

Some people are able to see the positive in all things.  I’m one of those ‘every silver lining has a cloud’ sort of bloke.  Have you been asked if your glass is half empty or half full?  Annoying isn’t it? There are those of us who think the glass is twice as big as it needs to be in the first place.  

I am who I am.  I’m not prepared to be someone else.  I’m not a team player, I’ve tried to be.  I’ve tried very hard to be but the reality is I’m not.  But for my entire career so far I’ve ‘shoehorned’ myself into one persona or other that someone else thinks I should fit in to so I can ‘be one of us’.  Well I’m not one of those ‘let’s all hug each other and pass on our love with smiles we learned to paste on at MacDonald’s’ types. 

Why should I be going through this crisis of self-confidence?  Before that redundancy notice hit me I was OK.  Not particularly arrogant but confident of my ability and I got results, was generally well thought of, effective.  But now it seems no-one wants to employ me and although I’m sure I am still the same person, it just doesn’t seem to be that other people are of the same opinion. 

I’ve lost out so far on ‘Your experience is beyond that required for the position’ or ‘We thought you were over qualified by experience’.  I’ve been rejected because ‘we decided to appoint someone internally’ and I’ve been cast aside by ‘ Another candidate was doing the job elsewhere and was therefore an exact match’.  What I heard was ‘you can do my job better than me, don’t want you, you’re a threat’.  I heard ‘we’ve decided to take someone from inside that we didn’t think could do the job in the first place so we’ve changed the job so that he can do it’…. after all…. It’s cheaper and how much damage can one person do?

In one week I lost my job, was sacked by my Dentist and the cat was sick on my best suit…. the one I reserve for interviews.  “So next week”, says my half glass full friend “can only get better… be positive.  There are people a lot worse off than you”.  Oh sod off!

So the following posts will be my diary.  My search for employment laid bare.  I’m going to share my thoughts and experiences…… my ailments…. with anyone prepared to listen. 

Dear Diary Week 1 day 5.

It Thursday and its raining.  Just spent a few weeks browsing the internet.  It seems I’m just the sort of person the recruiters are looking for, I’ve had loads of phone calls.   None have been there when I’ve tried to call back.  So far they don’t return my calls and the one I did manage to get hold of one guy he couldn’t remember speaking to me… he had said he was putting me forward for a role as Operations manager in an engineering firm… wouldn’t tell me the name of the company.. and now he can’t remember speaking to me?  How does this work then?  Is he putting me forward or not?  I don’t actually think there was a job at all, he seems so vague.

Dear Diary Week 6

Another couple of weeks applying for everything from Operations Director to second elf from the left in the next Harry Potter film…… then I turn up for my interview with the job centre, (so I keep up my insurance payments) looking like a garden gnome because they used the wrong glue and I can get the bloody ears off!

Dear Diary

Spoke to a recruiter today……….. from the planet Argon!

Dear diary Week 7

I’m beginning to run out of Anglo-Saxon expletives that adequately describe the recruiters.   I’ve had some good advice on the job search front.  Get out there and visit the recruiters.  “If you walk through the door they can’t ignore you can they?  Everyone knows that they’ll take notice of you if you get in their face”. 

Dear Diary,

Sat with a recruiter for about fifteen minutes this morning.  She asked what I did and I explained for about ten minutes that I was an Operations Manager, experienced in man management, P&L responsibility, profit growth.  I can look at a business and quickly evaluate the issues and a strategy for the turnaround……. The only note she wrote on her pad was ‘Office worker’. $%&*! is what I think of that!

Ok so I’m doing something wrong, clearly.  But what do I have to do?  I’m flexible about what job I do next.  I’m open to suggestions.  I can show a range of skills across a wealth of industries…. What the hell else do they want?

Dear Diary Week 9

Has the world gone completely mad?  The Job Centre have insisted I attend a ‘get back to work course’.  Actually they didn’t insist they said it’s up to me.  Of course if I choose not to attend they will stop my allowance.  What in the name of all that’s holy can they teach me about getting a job?   Put your CV on the internet job boards, chase recruiters, apply direct to companies when they advertise jobs on their websites.  I’M DOING THAT AND IT ISN’T WORKING!  But I’ll go…. And sit through the humiliation of them telling me I’ve got to do the things I’m already doing…. Along with the shell suits and pushchairs.

Dear Diary

.... There are two recruiters on the planet Argon!

It seems that age is not an issue.  You cannot discriminate against someone because of their age.  So long as you are not under 40 or over 45.  Actually I agree that anyone under 40 won’t have the experience to do a senior job.  BUT just because I’m over 45 it doesn’t mean I can’t breathe in and out unaided long enough to get through a bloody interview you…. you…. you… complete moron.

I’ve taken the dates off my education and deleted the first three jobs on my CV.  You’ve got to get up a bit earlier if you want to catch me out like that…. Dopey.

Dear diary Week 10

A bit of a breakthrough today.  After putting my new, abridged, truncated and not entirely truthful CV back on Monster I had calls from three interested recruiters.  There are two jobs I’m being put forward for and they both sound great.  The third thought I was a ballet dancer and wanted to sell me a tutu…. at least I think that was what he said.

Watch this space… with a bit of luck I’ll have a job before I have to endure the ritual humiliation of the ‘Back to work’ course.

Dear Diary. 

Some more interest.  Things are definitely looking up.  Also, I heard that the guy who got the job as third elf from the left is ill and had to drop out…. There’s always a light shining somewhere.  I must remember to tell them about the glue….

Dear Diary Week 13

Went to the bank today to see if I can get a short break from the mortgage.  Such nice people always ready to help those going through a little bit of inconvenience, like no job, no money and a stress not able to be measured on any scale known by man.  Just to raise the pain they said they would foreclose on the house if we missed a payment.  No wonder bank employees are so universally hated these days.  Back to their old tricks. “Helpful Banking” ………… really?

I should have taken out some form of redundancy insurance but I didn’t’ think I’d need it.  In fact it had never occurred to me, after all, redundancy? These things only really happen to other people.

Dear Diary

Another day another disappointment.  Can’t get hold of the recruiters who made the last lot of false promises that they would speak to the company and get back to me with a date for interview.  Why can’t they just tell me….

Watched Red Nose Day on the telly tonight.  So I think I’ve got problems….  Donated fifty quid.  My thinking is that as the fifty quid was overdraft, I’ve actually donated the bank’s money.  Ha bloody ha to them.  They’ll hate the thought they actually might have helped someone….  saved a life.  I wonder how much the multi million pound ‘bonus buggers’ donated to save a life somewhere on this earth?

I’ll feel better in the morning….. if I keep taking the tablets!

Dear Diary Week 16

Filming in Elstree on Thursday.  Only one day but £200 as an extra.  Didn’t get the elf job but at least I get out of the house. 

I’ve come across a company that I have to pay to get some help.  Can’t pay… no money.  They gave me some good advice and ideas to speed things up a bit.  I opened up a little……….like you do to a hairdresser……I even told them about the ears. 

Laid awake most of last night… worrying…….. I shouldn’t have told them about the ears…..

Dear Diary,

On the basis that ‘if you can’t beat them join them’, I’m applying for jobs as a recruiter……. On the planet Argon!

Dear Diary Week 18

I’ve had an idea.  I’m going to go around the recruiters. It has become clear that they are really only a couple of rungs on the ecological ladder above algae. They don’t represent me regardless of what they say and I am not getting anywhere with them. I’m going it alone – Lone Ranger – me and Tonto… I need to get a Tonto.

Ok, so it always helps to write down a plan:

1              …… erm….. ok , so….  Get a coffee.

2            Decide what I am selling: Who am I?  What do I do? Why would they need me?                                                     Why me rather than anyone else? What can I deliver?

3            List my skills not my experience. It is obvious now that what I did in my past is                                                     not relevant to the prospective employer – what I achieved is what they need to                                                 hear.

4             Decide how I want to be perceived – from the first email, call or letter they will be                                                 making judgements about me – be nice.

5             List the companies I want to work for and that might employ someone with my                                                     skills.

6             Identify the decision maker.

7             See if I know him/her and call/email but get a meeting.

8             Use LinkedIn – everyone else seems to.

9             Practice my conversations.  Talk to myself, work out the conversation that might                                                 happen.

10           Be relentless……. But professional.

Dear Diary Week 19

No luck with the inter-galactic recruitment job.

Things are definitely looking up. Had a coffee with Ian who I’ve not spoken to for6 years.  Asked him if he knew the Ops Director at Bracton Engineering, he did.  He said he’ll introduce me via LinkedIn.

Note to self: Must get to understand LinkedIn better.

Decided on the script I will use on the Bracton engineering guy.:

“I have followed some of the things you have been doing at Bracton and I believe I can make a significant contribution to your senior operations team.  I understand you probably don’t have any vacancies at the moment but that will not always be the case and when you do I would like to be the first person you think of. I would like just fifteen minutes of your time to show you what I can deliver for you and you can see if you think I would fit into your culture.  When can we meet”?

Finger’s crossed.

Also, I’ve had a conversation with an old friend who thinks his company might want to speak to me.  I’m meeting with him on Thursday for a coffee.

Just had the link to Graham at Bracton….. here goes…..

Dear Diary Week 20

Should have done this weeks ago. Graham at Bracton is a really nice guy.  No vacancies but he thinks his last company are looking for someone like me and he liked the fact that I am getting off my bum and standing out from the crowd.  He is meeting me on Friday for an after work beer. 

Called a company today that rejected me in week 1. I spoke to the lady that interviewed me and appointed someone else.  She said I impressed her but the guy they appointed seemed to be a better match for them at the time.  They do, however want to speak to me about another position that they haven’t advertised yet and has just come up.  By getting back in touch I might have saved them quite a lot in recruitment fees. Interview on Monday!!!

Dear Diary Week 22

Two possible meetings from Graham at Bracton with a friend of his at his last company (details due in a day or so) and a colleague in a different part of his company.  He didn’t know I would have suited them in another division but now he has had the chance to meet me he is referring me.  Brilliant!

Dear diary

This is excellent! I’ve got a meeting with Bracton for an actual current vacancy – they haven’t been able to find the right person…. Look no further……

I’m speaking to people who are interested in speaking to me rather than the recruiters who have no idea…. at all.

Dear Diary  Week 23

Now I have a problem….

Bracton have offered me a job.  Could I do it…. Easy.  But….. there is a possible job at Shell and it is more money, better big company benefits….. do I wait?

Taken the Bracton job. It is a good job and it doesn’t have to be the last job I get.  I’m going to keep speaking to people and make a decision about where I go next.  Not getting caught by the redundancy trap again.

Dear Diary Week 26

Another offer has come from that company I got back to from week 1.  Going to see them tomorrow morning.

Dear Diary, didn’t take the new offer but recommended a friend of mine who would be brilliant in the role – they were really grateful….. wow!, how to refuse an offer and make a friend! I’m going to keep this up. 

Went back to the company that gave me this advice – they were thrilled and gave me some more contacts.

I’m going to work with them and their network to make sure I control my career from now on.

What a journey!!